The Manual at www.instrumentality.com.

I had the classic book on the science, art, craft ... the mojo required to produce a Number One Hit in Great Britain, The Manual (on how to get a #1 hit the easy way), on my website, instrumentality.com, for many years. It was the only the only thing people came to look at, I think. And then a couple people asked for pdf's of the book within a week. I suggested they do the right thing and buy the damn book. And then,

the lightbulb went on. 

"Why not get a commission from Amazon?"

So I took the book down & linked to the book through the affiliate thing. Now I realize there are no copies available. Soooooo ... I've put this treasure back online.

I'm sorry for violating copyright. I am sorry for stealing from the KLF. But I secretly believe they know the extent of my crimes. And are smiling.

My intro from the site: 

With all due respect to the copyright notices below, Instrumentality presents The KLF's "The Manual" on how to get a number one hit in England. This document is as insightful, if not moreso, into the workings of the music business and the making of songs as any other texts we've ever encountered.

Essential for anybody interested in music, or the music business, or looking for a good reason to get out of the music business.

And herewith a few excerpts from the masterpiece:

firstly, you must be skint and on the dole. anybody with a proper job or tied up with full time education will not have the time to devote to see it through. also, being on the dole gives you a clearer perspective on how much of society is run. if you are already a musician stop playing your instrument. even better, sell the junk. it will become clearer later on but just take our word for it for the time being. sitting around tinkering with the portastudio or musical gear (either ancient or modern) just complicates and distracts you from the main objective. even worse than being a musician is being a musician in a band. real bands never get to number one - unless they are puppets.

if you are in a band you will undoubtedly be aware of the petty squabbles and bitching that develops within them. this only festers and grows proportionately as the band gets bigger and no band ever grows out of it. all bands end in tantrums, tears and bitter acrimony. the myth of a band being gang of lads out "against" the world (read as "to change", "to shag" or "to save the world") is pure wishful thinking to keep us all buying the records and reading the journals. mind you, it's a myth that many band members want to believe themselves.

so if in a band, quit. get out. now.

A few years back, when I was hiding out in Hollywood, I got to a point where it seemed as if the jig was up. I was staying in a friend's place.

I was in a near-suicidal state of depression. Nothing was going according to plan. All the Hollywood bullshit (promised investors, etc.) had become painfully apparent. I was broke, living off a few sales of HoneyBun kits to distributors, and borrowed money.

I had convinced the company that made HoneyBun Spanking Kits to put out a massage kit, with the idea of breaking out of the adult novelty industry and onto the shelf next to Dirty Girl Soap, where the money was.

They wanted to make a soft-core massage video to go with the oil. I said that was too tacky for HoneyBun. I proposed a relaxation cd. They agreed.

So I did what I have done so many times: I went down below to where the music is. Whatever storms rage above the surface cannot touch me down there.

I can only assume other artists know of which I speak, or anyone who has perhaps submerged him/herself in meditation, or prayer, or focused labor, which, now that I think about it, seem to be the main components of my creative process.

In the time that followed, about three weeks, I composed four songs. When I came out, these are the songs that had flowed through, each about fifteen minutes long:

1. Summer of '68
2. Autumnal Sun
3. Winter Blue
4. Isle of Islay Revisited

Isle of Islay Revisited is the only song I have ever done composed entirely from samples: gongs, chimes, birds, water, guitar, and so on. The title refers to an incredibly sweet and sad ballad by Donovan, on his album Gift From a Flower To A Garden, released in 1968.

I have since reworked the first three songs, taking them from the pastels of the original versions into more technicolor realms. The label I am discussing releasing the cd with insists I redo Isle of Islay Revisited as well. I am in the process of composing a very different piece, although I hope it will have the same placid flow as the original. The label insisted I not have any of the original pieces available on the web (you can hear an excerpt of Winter Blue at my myspace page, however), but since there are issues with samples,etc., on this piece, I think it safe to offer to you for download.

Download Isle of Islay Revisited

The (song)Device

SunPopBlue salutes the visionary behind the (song)Device, embodying, as it does, our bizarro world Zeitgeist: the hyper-capitalist fundamental, planned-obsolescence, the Microsoft approach to digital rights management, and the eBay path to easy money via selling cheapo gizmos from China. "Bid with utter confidence" rather sums it up, doesn't it?

In the Artist's own words: 

Disposable Pop Songs

"After carefully studying the works of Alex Chilton, Chris Bell, Stephin Merrit and others (in case the business of writing pop songs is outsourced). The Artist has carefully and finely handcrafted this song.

The wooden frame encloses a chip, on turning a knob it dispenses an original pop song. Enclosed along with the song are (in no particular order): bills (paid and unpaid), flowers from sidewalks, post-its, sketches, blue prints for big plans, etc. These may or may not have anything to do with the song being played.

After about four plays the song degenerates into noise, thus rendering the (song)Device useless.  

You can then use the (song)Device, as either:

1. (song)Device for churning out Stockhausen like symphonies or
2. Dispose the (song)device, thus symbolically rejecting materialism and therefore turning into some kind of Neo-Buddhist.

The (song)Device,thus functions as some kind of swiss army knife of cool, the one stone that kills many birds...etc. wholesome and educational entertainment for the whole family-the perfect gift for Christmas.

Bid with utter confidence.

1. Wash dishes
2. Finish setting up music studio, power supply from Mike, sample disks for emu sampler
3. Get vacuum-forming machine for chess pieces
4. Get supply of materials for new series (A Love Supreme wall hangings) of artwork
5. Make Tangerine Sky business cards for the big do up in wine country this week
6. Make list of people I owe money to, will be able to clear up soon.
7. Get a wife, or 2 or 3 girlfriends, or a bunch of groupies
8. Stop eating alone so much. Have dinner parties or dates. Need new place settings and silverware.
9. Make some pasta to go with braised short-ribs & veggies
10. Finish four or five half-finished pieces for Sun Pop Blue before starting new ones. but post every day.
11. Decide what to do about fourth piece of "seasons" cd ... record new bird sounds ...
12. Find a DAT machine to transfer old music tapes to hard-drive
13. Hit gym 4 times a week
14. Set up G3 mac and go thru all old floppies & zip disks ... old music files to export to gen midi, & hopefully, Flapping in pagemaker to import into InDesign to make pdf ...
15. Look into finding illustrator to make graphic novel of Flapping. 
16. Finish Last Unforetold Man vocal cd: backing vocals, harmonies, string part for Take Me Down & Maia, get Angie into studio for Pop Down the Years, get some help arranging that one, also.
17. Silk-screened covers for Flapping. Mini-cd with "lost" songs ...
18. Shoot "Serge" modular synth videos - put up on YouTube, send to synth blogs. Post "flight of the atom bee," Flapping edit
19. Begin intense targetted promotion of limited edition Flapping
20. Do Year-in-the-Life-of-a-Winery & vintage spanking postcards book proposals
21. Pick up new cologne - Dolce & Gabbana this time
22. Help Nate develop new products for www.myhoneybun.com ... find real marketing person.
23. Wash dishes right now.
24. Steam-clean carpets.
25. Get a house-cleaning service. 
26. Take care of free-lance clients.
27. Raise rates. 
28. Focus on living life in the slow lane 
29. Develope multi-level marketing scheme for the Ché brand ...
30. Wash dishes immediately
    
31. Continue research regarding this wrong dimension thing we seem to be caught up in.
32. Book some live shows or, failing that, do some open mic's
33. Wash dishes.