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 Intellectual Whores Homepage
Home of the Ladder Theory in male/female relationships.
I can't remember how I found this site - so often the case, isn't it? But I periodically return for a laugh. This guy has given the nature of attraction a lot of
thought. And I must say that his theories and analyses of the the
ongoing situation are consistent with my own extensive experience and
observations over the years.
I have been both asshole and nice guy in years past. Nice guy (listens to her problems, is sympathetic, polite, etc.) almost without fail gets relegated to friend status. Asshole (showing up drunk once or twice a month and rapping loudly on her window after the bars close) gets welcomed into her warm bed.
 Ladies:
You can protest all you want, but the facts are the facts.
I love his bit about what women say they care about but really don't: intelligence, sense of humor, honesty, sensitivity etc. ... I know ... that stuff counts ... later.
Not saying I agree with everything he says all the time, but the Intellectual Whores Homepage, but much of what he says rings true.
Salient excerpts from the site after the jump on the "Cuddle Bitch"— a place no man wants to go, and also on Beethoven's Fur Elise,
a brilliant analysis of how Louie von B probably used the same piece of
music to seduce countless countesses.
(Note to self: would this be disingenuous thing to do? Must ponder when time affords.)
I have enjoyed the Intellectual Whores site for a while now. I know
not too much about it, but it has a lot of content. An excellent
selection of hate-mail, mostly from women and men who, back in the
early seventies, would have belonged to groups with names like "Men Struggling To Smash Sexism"—yes, there was such a group in Berkeley: I saw their posters railing about "cock rock" and
a drawing of a guy with a guitar, the neck shaped like a penis ... but
... isn't "struggling to smash" kind of a macho phrase to begin with?
Oh well, whatever works ... 
He has a number of other great pieces about the dance of romance. Ouch.
Here are a couple pieces I think you will enjoy.
On Cuddle Bitches
cuddle bitch (n) - a guy who never gets to sleep with a girl but gets to
have intimate moments with her like cuddling, spooning, or otherwise
being affectionate. Usually this will occur in private. She probably
considers him a really sweet guy, which is the kiss of death.
First off, cuddle bitches are bad, bad things to be. Maybe the worst
thing to be. I mean, being an Intellectual Whore is bad, but being an
Intellectual Whore who has to endure blue-balls is bordering on
criminal.
As to how it fits into the framework of the ladder.
Basically this is just a guy who has a very high position on the
friends ladder. So far up the friends ladder that he gets the dubious
honor of getting to provide all the intimacy that a girl is missing
when she's off fucking guys who basically don't care about her like
outlaw bikers and band members.
So he gets to be the proxy
father/confessor/friend/teddy bear for her, depending on what she is
missing at the time. Perhaps the only consolation of this is a ladder
jump to the real ladder seems statistically a little more likely to
succeed. Of course, when one is that high up the fall is dreadful
indeed....
How do we know this? Well, if a woman had a nice loving boyfriend then
he would be doing all the cuddling and whatnot and likely wouldn't
stand for a woman maintaining a stable of cuddle bitches. Unless he's
completelty pussified, in which case she's likely fucking some other
people anyway. 
For guys unacquainted with Ladder Theory, it is even worse. The cuddle
bitch often thinks he is on the good ladder as opposed to the real
ladder. So he gets all excited about his position instead of realizing
he is being completely used. So this poor tool is really setting
himself up for a fall at that point.
Note: This does not apply if cuddling under the influence of mushrooms,
for the express purposes of avoiding hypothermia, or if the woman is a
whore that you've recently paid for sex. Cuddling is perfectly
acceptable and probably non-sexual in these circumstances.
On Beethoven:
Well we know that Beethoven was notriously grumpy. He was also the
greatest musical genius to ever live. That of course is a value
judgment,and if you disagree with it you are a terrorist.
So the real question is not how well he wrote for the human
voice(quite), or if he was a manic-depressive(no), or why he and Haydn
didn't get along(who gives a shit?) but how much did he get laid? I say
a lot and here's why:
Fur Elise, or the Bagatelle in A Minor, is designated as WoO 59. For
those who haven't read my Seductor's Guide to Classical Music(trademark
pending), which is everyone because I haven't written it yet, WoO means
'without opus.' I have been informed that it is from the German werke
ohne opus which translates to "work without opus [number]."
The title 'Fur Elise' in German is just a dedication meaning simply, 'For Elise.'
Now the piece was published in 1810 when Beethoven was 40. His first
piano sonatas were published in 1783 when he was 13, so we can safely
say he was capable of writing a comparatively simple piece like Fur
Elise 27 years before he supposedly actually did.
Now, this will seem like pure conjecture now, but I am confident that
when scholars get around to reading some of those old diaries that
everyone seems to have kept in the 18th century so some humanities
major can get their Ph.D. they will discover that Beethoven had that
piece for many years before its now officially recognized publication
date.
Why did he never make it public?
Because he used it to score more pussy than a bonobo.
First look at the properties of the piece: it can be played by one
person. Someone of Beethoven's piano skill would be able to play it and
still hold a conversation. It demads no attention, or concentration. So
a woman goes into the room to meet the great Beethoven and he's sitting
in there alone and he's playing this tune. I imagine the typical
conversation went along these lines:
Julie: "Hello, Mr. Beethoven, what's that?"
Beethoven: "Oh, just a little piece I'm working on. And please, call me Ludwig."
Julie(nervously): "It's beautiful. What's is it called?"
Beethoven: "I was thinking of calling it 'Fur Julie'"
Julie(blushing madly): "Oh Beethoven,really....?"
Beethoven: "Absolutely. Here let me show you the first notes. Come sit next to me..."
All the various lures he is holding out here are breathtaking.
Beethoven is offering everything anyone could want: immortality, their
name attached to something beautiful, the chance to meet whatever noble
Beethoven was working for at the time, and of course, making a nice guy
out of a notorious bad-boy.
Now is anyone going to tell me that that would not have gotten him
laid? And he lived at a time when social conventions were such that all
the ladies in town couldn't publish in the local scandal sheet how they
were tricked and seduced by Beethoven.
Historical evidence will eventually prove that there was a girl named
Elise that was proving very hard to fuck, so Beethoven finally had to
play the piece in public. It was probably at this point that he got
that scowl that we see him with in almost every representation of the
man. He was giving up his best seduction method and deaf. One or the
other would be bad enough, but the combination of both probably kept
him pissed until the day he died.
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written by Lisa, November 28, 2006
I would say the reason women love assholes (including myself), is because assholes are confident, determined, agressive, and a challenge. Same reason, why do men love bitches?? Something about a challenge. The rating system with 50% money/power, I am not sure I agree with. Money has never mattered to me, in my rating system. I think a lot of women rate mostly on a strong physical connection. The rest will follow. But I am only 25, what do I know. I have a lot to learn.
written by hud boondock, November 30, 2006
that seems to increase with age. He goes into great detail about it at his site. I couldn't put the whole site up here, just a couple pieces that give a hint of the ... uh ... thrust of his arguments.