This poor girl is in for a big surprise ... or, looking at her body language, maybe she got the surprise last night.

Many years ago, I was the member of a club that met on Tuesday evenings. Mutual friends introduced me to an attractive, tall blonde woman, whom I shall call T. I was immediately smitten.

It turned out that T was the coffee and snack person for the weekly gathering, but didn't have a car. Naturally, I offered to pick her up and drive her and the goodies to and from the meeting.

Over the next few weeks, we got better acquainted and my hopes for a more intimate relationship were bouyed by our conversations about music, the seventies, her claims that she was a total pervert ... you know, the usual.

I didn't make a move because the time never seemed quite right. I was coming off a painful divorce and still sort of in shock, I guess.

 Anyway, one day after the meeting I was helping T pack up the supplies and she said,"I don't need a ride home, Knox, I'm getting a ride with D------." And indicated some tall doofus in a baseball hat standing near the door.

My heart sunk.

I bid T adieu and drove home to my big empty apartment. I called my friend J in Philadelphia. I had met J online. She was a musician, in a relationship, but we had become friends and she had helped me learn the basics of web design, html, and all of that. This was almost thirteen years ago, now that I think about it.

In her day, J had been pretty wild. She was the kind of girl who would sleep with the UPS delivery man as he delivered a parcel to her home if she thought he was cute. I must say I really respect a woman who is honest about her sexuality, whatever form it takes.

I mention that just to indicate that J knew a little bit about men in all their varied splendor, the good, the bad, the skilled, the inept, and so on. By the time I met her, she had met her mate and they are together happily to this day.

She answered the phone and asked how I was.

I said, "Terrible! I was driving this girl to and from the meeting every week and I really liked her and tonight she told me she was getting a ride home from some asshole in a baseball hat."

And she said,"Knox, listen to me. Premature ejaculation. I have the facts and figures to back it up. Trust me ... if he is wearing a baseball hat, we are talking premature ejaculation every single time!"

I said,"Really?"

And she said,"Oh yeah. Without fail." 

And then we talked about other stuff for a while. And I guess I felt a little better.

Several years later, T had become a hairstylist and she was cutting my hair. She was married to someone, but not D-----.

I told her the story of my phonecall that night of my heartbreak at her unwitting behest. And when I got to the part where J said "Trust me Knox, if he's wearing a baseball hat, premature ejaculation every time," T had a shocked expression on her face.

She said,"He had that problem!"

So girls ... now you know. 

On a related topic, a rich Danville friend of mine, a married woman was trying to set a friend up with another mutual friend. She asked me what I thought. I said,"He's cheap."

And she said,"Forget it. Cheap guys are always lousy in bed."

And I said,"Well, just remember, I've been a spendthrift all my life!"

Never worn a baseball hat.

Just sayin' ... 

Another baseball cap wearer. Although with power-bottoms, I am told PE is usually not an issue. 

Comments (2)

My Hats Are Not The Cap Variety
written by Troy, November 29, 2006

I will need to discuss this with Little Richard...

He hasn't been hanging out to much since winter has come to Lake Tahoe...

The dreaded PE
written by TDrifter, November 29, 2006

Think we need your friend's research notes.
This poses many quandries.
EG. just sport caps or any type?
What about the backwards or sideways positions? Or the Half-cocked Bill?
What about Cowboy hats?

makes sense tho--hat/caps effect the cerebral circulation.
And PE is really mostly in the head.

I'm tossing out all mine --.
Keep one or two to play it safe.

After all, PE sucks --but ED can't be.

Title
Comment
Name
Email
Website
Write the displayed characters
	Add Comment